ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
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Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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