I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize