Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
bring money and cleavage
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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