in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
