Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
