i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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