do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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