So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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