yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
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I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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