dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
did you just send me my own nude
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
