Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
