so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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