im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
