Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
