we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
