Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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