I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
