last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
