Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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