Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
