The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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