Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize