so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
