We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
