ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
