Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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