It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
