My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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