Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
