it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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