Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
