You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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