What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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