His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
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I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
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I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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