it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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