i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
