Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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