Can Purell be used as lube?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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