apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
