trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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