TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I have post one night stand depression
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
