I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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