i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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