oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
