his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
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New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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