She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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