Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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