Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
