i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize