10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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