The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
