i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
