Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE