Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.