Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well. http://tfl.nu/p8ga
  Replies (13) Good night (796) Bad night (2842)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal. http://tfl.nu/j3ch
  Replies (14) Good night (3169) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell. http://tfl.nu/ey83
  Replies (24) Good night (3545) Bad night (2734)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right http://tfl.nu/htd0
  Replies (31) Good night (29593) Bad night (1229)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated http://tfl.nu/326a
  Replies (28) Good night (1319) Bad night (5077)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  can I come stay the night

  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, but no sex tonight

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'll stay home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): can I come stay the night (217): yeah, but no sex tonight (810): I'll stay home http://tfl.nu/tu8g
  Replies (34) Good night (2433) Bad night (8216)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them http://tfl.nu/5e8u
  Replies (4) Good night (692) Bad night (2953)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless. http://tfl.nu/y6il
  Replies (9) Good night (2782) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again. http://tfl.nu/g0yk
  Replies (5) Good night (1242) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it. http://tfl.nu/1im6
  Replies (6) Good night (1284) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick http://tfl.nu/akxs
  Replies (6) Good night (354) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago http://tfl.nu/tavn
  Replies (4) Good night (420) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas. http://tfl.nu/f3lh
  Replies (2) Good night (667) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early. http://tfl.nu/apcg
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor. http://tfl.nu/ygxz
  Replies (5) Good night (907) Bad night (324)

Randomize