this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...