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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.

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• (760): View more from California

  The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.

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• (310): View more from California

  Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off

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