Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.