YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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