He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wish you could order shots online.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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