He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize