The maid of honor just puked.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
