Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The air taste purple.
Randomize
